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F.i.in.e Moods





Current Mood:  extremely sad...

Current Music:  (none)

 

NOTE:  2023 05 27  21H33 EST  His Death is Scheduled for Next Monday - 



His Death is Scheduled for Next Monday

Written 2023-05-28

 

- just learned tonight that it's happening on Monday... 

 

My friend's father has made

The decision to die this Monday,

Assisted by doctors to end

Things on his own terms and

Not wait for his terminal illness

To get him there in its own terms.

 

This man has known me since

The age of 19, and has been since then

In my life almost like a father would be.

He welcomed me in his family,

And gave me love all of these years,

To me, he's a very important person.

 

Although I completely understand

His decision, and I fully respect it,

I'm nonetheless feeling heartbroken

That the time has arrived so soon.

I have to come to terms now with the

Fact that he'll be gone from our lives.

 

I'm having a hard time holding back

My tears, I so want to see him before

He goes, but at the same time, I don't

Want to impose myself in such a

Personal moment either.  I'm not sure

How to go about dealing with this one.



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Current Mood:  'current mood' is a good question...

Current Music:  "Live Through This (Fifteen Storeys) " - Mighty Joe Plum

 

NOTE:  2023 05 27  11H28 EST  Ramblings 640 - 



Ramblings 640

Written 2023-05-27

 

Imposing ways

Brought on by

Spurious reasons

Don't sit well

 

And if they do

A reevaluation

Of your thoughts

Might be in order



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Current Mood:  eesh... will be relieved when it's over...

Current Music:  "Y'a pas grand-chose dans l'ciel à soir" - Kermess (Paul Piché cover)

 

NOTE:  2023 05 27  09H51 EST  1st July<

1st of July in Québec

Written 2023-05-27

 

- really looking forward to getting through 1st of July...

 

For some reason, the 1st of July

Is provincial-wide moving day!

 

Why?  Because all of our rental leases

Are from the 1st July to 30th June.

 

I suspect it was a Separatists' move in the 70's

To make Canada Day too busy to celebrate.

 

Pardon my cynicism, but moving day

Is absolute mayhem because everyone's moving!!

 

Good luck not running into any snags

Getting your rental moving truck!

 

Or getting out in time for the next tenants!

It's really ridiculous that we're set up this way!

 

And, sigh, I'm moving on 1st July, so got to

Admit my levels of stress are starting to rise.

 

Will be so relieved when it's done and over with. Oh, 1st

of July, yeah, Happy Canada Day, too, while you're at it, sure.



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Current Mood:  ok, but hard to explain...

Current Music:  "Striven" - Jay Ray (feat. Marko Saaresto)

 

NOTE:  2023 05 27  09H35 EST  Ramblings 639 - 



Ramblings 639

Written 2023-05-27

 

There is a certain sense of loss(?),

But at the same time amazement,

To one day find yourself not

Feeling all of that pain that had been

So entrenched from the beginning,

And that had slowly chipped away at

Your sanity and overall well-being

Year after year without any breaks...

Not to mention the annihilation of

All hope anything else could ever

Come your way in any conceivable

Fashion because that is all you had

Ever known life was like.

 

Not that one would ever miss it at all,

But it is nonetheless in some measure

Very déboussolant just the same,  

To one day find yourself without it,

It feels like having entered a new

Dimension or perhaps a new planet,

And it sure takes some getting used to...

It is obviously not unpleasant at all,

It is just unusual and makes you feel

A little unsure about all of the happiness.

The landscape is unrecognizable, unknown,

And although you are awed, pleased by it,

There is a big part of you that is now gone.

 

And that feels a little unsettling somehow;

A most difficult thing to try to explain, really.



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Current Mood:  choisir son entourage...

Current Music:  "When the Seasons Change" - Five Finger Death Punch

 

NOTE:  2023 05 19  18H32 EST  Ramblings 637 - French ramblings...



Ramblings 637

Written 2023-05-20

 

L'affaire est qu'il y a trop de petites nuances avec toi,

et en plus, elles n'ont pas de rythme ou de constance.

 

Alors, comment veux-tu qu'on te suive avec tout ça ?

Ce n'est pas que je n'ai pas essayé, tu le sais bien,

 

Mais là, je crois que c'est le temps qu'on s'arrête ici.

T'en es misérable, j'en suis aussi, alors vaut mieux.

 



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Current Mood:  réflexions sur ce qui s'observe à propos de nous...

Current Music:  (none)

 

NOTE:  2023 05 12  19H22 EST  Assez certain pour mettre sa main dans le feu - 



Assez certain pour mettre sa main dans le feu

Written 2023-05-13

 

- pas dans le but de pessimisme, juste une observation... 

 

Où il y a des humains,

c'est inévitable qu'il faut

composer avec les problèmes,

car veut, veut pas, ils font

toujours partie de l'équation.

 

Personne n'est à l'abri

de cette réalité incontournable,

car où il y a des humains,

c'est complétement inmanquable,

il va y avoir des problèmes.



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Current Mood:  missing being on PB...

Current Music:  "Striven" - Jay Ray (feat. Marko Saaresto)

 

NOTE:  2023 05 05  20H44 EST  Quick Coucou - 



Quick Coucou

Written 2023-05-06

 

 

For you, who might be wondering,

Things are going very well for me.

However, it's been incredibly busy.

 

I absolutely love the job,

And I'm getting better at this social

Anxiety stuff I have to deal with.

 

Can't say that I'm living

Any of it as a hardship,

It's actually quite satisfying.

 

I'm all-around very happy,

And a lot of good things

Are happening for me, it's nice.

 

A lot of big changes in my life,

Plans are finally moving forward

For me and my douce moitié.

 

The first one is to move out

To a new apartment, which

We will be doing very soon.

 

It's on the same street,

Not what we'd planned, but it's

Fully renovated with a balcony!

 

After that, settle in, and

Finally be able to get back

To our dearest projects.

 

Things are looking very good.

Really hope all's been well

For you, I do miss you a lot.



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