IB M

Despair, my bedfellow

Exhaustion, the annihilator

This mind, my ennemy

This life, a world of pain

If I listened to myself now

There'd be no tomorrow

And if I were less pathetic

I could maybe step over it

si j'avais les mots pour expliquer

ce qui s'est passé, mais je ne les ai pas...

tout a changé ce jour, je ne sais pas

si je suis récupérable, mais on verra bien,

seul le temps pourra le montrer

mais si j'étais franche à présent

il faudrait que je mentionne

que je n'y ai plus tant de coeur

ou même un brin d'espoir, juste

en attente que l'inévitable survienne

je n'ai plus les forces pour ce

combat sans sens apparent

mon épuisement déborde les

limites du tolérable actuellement

tout a changé ce jour, vraiment tout

mais je n'ai pas les mots pour l'expliquer

Physically

Mentally

I think it's safe to say

I'm hanging by a thread

But I'm holding on

The insidious nature of it

Will make you sort out

How to best achieve your

Goals to injure yourself

Without anyone knowing.

It'll make you sneaky around

Your loved-ones, make you

Devise the perfect isolation

So you'll not be interrupted

While you attack yourself.

It'll make you believe warped

Notions that all of this is justified

And even at some point make

You believe death would be the

Preferable outcome after all.

The insidious nature of it

Will make you succeed at failing,

It'll take everything until there's

Really nothing left of you to take.

Its only goal is to make you die.

And with so many close calls,

No doubt it will some day win. 

- people...

Not too sure why, but he exclaimed in earnest:
"God doesn't make mistakes!  It's impossible."

And she without missing a beat quipped back:

"Hm, testicles on the outside contradict that."

The guy was stunned not knowing what to say.
Me, I couldn't breathe from laughing so much.

Why is it that your first move's
Always to be so cruel to yourself?
Why's it so difficult for you to cut
Yourself some well-deserved slack?

The things you say to yourself are
Nothing you'd ever say to someone else.
So, why do you tear yourself to pieces?
You're so cold, ruthless when it's you.

Never once have you ever treated anyone
That way, it's so against your nature,
So, why are you so vicious to yourself?
Think about that for a moment, please.

se sentir délaissé

se sentir seul

des sentiments qui s'étirent

se sentir à la fin

se sentir que c'est le temps

une force ultra qui mène

se sentir vaincu

personne ne saura comprendre

le jour qu'ils feront face à la réalité

I've always found it peculiar

How people categorize pain,

Comparing theirs with mine,

And concluding mine's worse.

But the way I see it, pain feels

The same no matter what brings

It about, there're no distinctions

To be made about it, pain is pain.

I always find it very disturbing

How people dismiss theirs when

They find out about mine, as if

What they feel isn't legitimate,

Or isn't as severe in comparison ;

As if their feeling pain is misplaced

And completely unwarranted 'cause

No horror stories exist to back it up. 

But I completely disagree.

The fact it's there is the most

Relevant part, not how it got

There.  Pain is pain. Period.

Mine isn't worse than yours.

Please don't say that, makes me

Feel like you're tossing yourself

Aside as if you didn't matter...

How we got here doesn't figure in,

We all know how it feels is all.

It was nice to talk through things with you,

For the first time in my experiences, I felt you

Could not only listen, you actually understood

Everything I presented your way about my life.

Everything you ever said to me in our conversations

Was always thoughtful, and evidently intelligent, like

I'd never encountered before meeting you.  Not once

Did you ever give me platitudes as a response, and

Not once did I ever feel disrespected in any manner.

It was so impressive the way you summarized back

To me what I talked to you about, how you filled in what I

Didn't fully express in the exact words I was looking for...

You cared, and you actually understood what I was

Going through.  Talking with you was so interesting,

And it pushed my thoughts to consider further than

Its sphere and see where my troubles were in control.

You helped me pinpoint where the fights were coming

From, and how I adapted according to my experiences,

It made facing the fears less of an unknown

And allowed me to gain a way to manage them.

Sincerely, thank you for all of your help,

I will forever cherish our conversations.

And thank you for using your talent for being there

For others, our time together changed much for me.

I feel lucky to have had the chance to talk with you.

Let's forget what holds down

Forge ahead despite the ghosts

We're better than this story

They fight hard to hold us to

Truth is what traces our path

And safeguards us on the way

It doesn't matter what they say

We know who we really are

Some day we'll be free, dear,

We won't fall out of the frame

And our resolve will prevail

No one will be able to stop us

We'll be the rightful victors

Out of this tormenting narrative

They won't see us coming at all

We'll blow them out of the fray

You watch and see

That day's coming soon