- more Québec expressions... and a bit about our swear words... 

Pas pour être méchante, Chose,

Mais tu pètes plus haut que le trou

À une fréquence qui est constante.

Et bien franchement, c'est très plate.

Not to be mean, Chose,

But you 'fart higher than the hole' 

At a frequency that is constant.

And quite frankly, it's very boring.

C'est difficile d'expliquer à quel point

Mon cerveau veut se sauver quand t'es là.

J'arrive mal à supporter tes niaiseries,

Et d'après moi, je ne dois pas être la seule.

It's hard to explain to what extent

My brain wants to run away when you're here.

I can hardly bear your nonsense,

And my feeling is, I mustn't be the only one.

Je ne comprends pas très bien ce qui pousse

Les gens à devenir aussi socialement colon,

Mais au rythme que tu t'y prends, ce ne sera pas

Long avant que quelqu'un t'en crisse une bonne.

I don't quite understand what drives

People to become so socially idiotic,

But at the rate you're taking it on, it won't

Be long before someone really knocks you out.

[L1 - « Chose » :  It does mean 'thing' if we look at the word literally, but there's no equivalence in English for this expression (none that I know, anyway).  In this context it's employed as a name you give to someone when you're addressing them and you're not too happy with them.  The opposite of a term of endearment.]

[L2 - « tu pètes plus haut que le trou » :  I personally think this expression is self-explanatory, no?  I'm used to it, so maybe not... I've obviously literally translated that one 'cause there are no equivalents in English that I can find...]

[L10 - « colon » : It does mean 'colonist' if the word is taken literally, it can also mean the intestine's colon.  It's also a gentler substitute word to replace 'asshole', like 'darn' is to replace 'damn' - in that line.  An asshole who's a bit of a dolt too is the general view of a 'colon'.]

[L12 - « t'en crisse une bonne » : in this context, it means to punch someone really hard. 'Crisse' for emphasis that it won't be gentle, and 'une bonne' referring to a 'good' hard hit.

'Crisse' is a word derived from the church (a modification of the word Christ), as most of all our swear words are.

Here are a few examples : osti (host? - that thing which represents the divine's body and you're given by the priest to eat), câlisse (chalice), crisse (Christ), tabarnak (tabernacle), ciboire (ciborium?), sacrament (sacrement), etc. - instead of the actual proper church words.

These swear words can be used as a noun, a verb, an adjective, an adverb, etc all depending on the need.  I'd say people here have creative ways of stringing these swear words together in one exclamation. 

When my father was angry, he had the habit of blurting out the following : 

« Osti de câlisse de tabarnak de st-ciboire de crisse ! »  

It makes no sense at all, but the depth of emotion gets passed through very clearly.  I don't personally swear much, but once in a while, you know... ]

Google Translate version (always amusing how bad they are):

Not to be mean, Thing,

But you farts higher than the hole

At a frequency that is constant.

And frankly, it's very flat.

It's hard to explain how

My brain wants to run away when you're here.

I can hardly bear your silliness,

And in my opinion, I should not be the only one.

I don't quite understand what grows

People to become also socially colonists,

But at the rate you go about it, it won't be

Not long before someone yells at you.