My Days
I stay up late at night hopingthat something will happen
that will have made my day worthwhile
I sleep in the next morning
to hide from my day
anticipating nothing of value from being awake
I take naps to hide
from the overwhelming sensation of guilt
for choices I do or do not make
I have lucid dreams
that confuse my reality
and keep me from meaningful interaction with others
I hide on my phone all day hoping
for someone to contact me
to remind me that I am a real person
I lash out at the few people
that I do interact with
to justify the idea that I will have to be alone later
I cannot separate from my devices
for the fear of missing out
on even the most basic notifications
I crave acknowledgment
to ensure my sanity
yet I am afraid to put myself in a position to be judged
I do not commit
to any activity I do by myself
as it makes it more plausible that existence is imaginary
I am comfortably uncomfortable
Poetry by Paul Vermette
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Written on 2021-08-04 at 19:04
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