Very silently to myself

There's that desire which

Always comes back to surface

And take up all of the space.

A dream of oblivion

And not having to feel

Like it'd be the best

Place to handle now.

And despite all rationalizing

And full awareness of it,

It seems that desire never

Wants to leave or let go.

It takes hold of me, and

Even after all of this time,

A battle has to ensue to

Keep me from following it.

I don't always win.