- in therapy recently ('cause the traumas need to be further addressed), I was asked to describe my parents... this is a difficult one for me to do... they are very unwell, unstable individuals as a general description... and describing madness is difficult to do with any amount of clarity or certainty...

I have not had contact with my mother in 23 years... no contact with my father in 20 years... it felt like I had no choice to preserve my well-being...

I used to write letters to the people who were let's say problematic in my life with their abusive behaviors... but they of course were never to be sent...  

Allo Micheline,

It's been years since last we had contact,

Nonetheless, you come across in thoughts

Once in a while, to this day, and I at times

Find myself forming further reflections on

What happened and how it can be explained.

I've never known a sense of what's it's like

To have a mother is the truth of the matter,

But my anger and frustrations have long ago

Been spent and processed, and there is no

Remnant of animosity or hate toward you.

However, as a mother myself, there are

Parts to our story I'll never figure out.

So, as far as feelings go, I cannot declare

That I have any for you, it's now neutral,

And it was without doubt best to withdraw

Because of your effects on my well-being.

Even more so when my sons were born,

More importantly, they needed protection.

You'll remember, I gave you a chance,

And you proved it was the wrong decision.

So I had no choice but to remove you.

All of what I'm saying here is without anger,

It's simply to provide the explanation I never 

Voiced as to why we're no longer in contact,

In case you've been wondering all this time.

I do not wish to reestablish contact now,

But if not knowing bothers you as much as me,

I thought I could at least rectify this part

And perhaps bring the closure that's been pending.

I'm ready to place the final period to this story.

But I do hope you were able to get well

Because I can't imagine living like you is easy,

And although you've caused a lot of suffering

To many people in your life, I don't wish you ill.

So now I'll just say goodbye and take care.