- I can honestly say that I'm no longer terrified of people or of stepping out of my home... anxiety is still there, but it's not the terror I used to feel... and I'm a whole lot better at managing the anxiety bursts to bring them down when they arise... I never thought any of it possible...

What was, what is :

Childhood -- violence and abuse, traumas

Teens -- violence, abuse, roaming the streets, poverty, death, traumas

Young adult and on for years -- motherhood, dealing with the symptoms and sorting out the traumas, poverty

Now (last 2 years) -- living out of the house and being with people on a regular basis, working an amazing job, total financial freedom...

Hard to say where the words are

To explain in no uncertain terms

How all of this actually makes me feel

Still lingers a feeling of surreality to it

The huge contrast between what was, what is

And how all of it was simply unattainable

Despite the many years of efforts put in

And now?  It's completely unrecognizable

Been told I should be proud of myself   (even congratulate myself)

But oh, that only feels all too strange to do

In truth, there's still more progress to achieve

It's not to say, though, that now isn't good

This is exactly what I was hoping for

And I'm actually managing and doing well

My life has drastically changed for the better

And it feels like I'm finally getting to live it

Never thought this perspective would

Ever be mine to experience in my time

All I'd ever had involved a lot of suffering

It was inconceivable it'd ever be different

So that lingering sense of surreality

Kind of hangs about in my moments

When I take in all of the drastic changes

And how I'm doing well in all of that

Truly didn't believe it would ever happen