- it isn't that I hold it against my father for what he did... but it's not stuff you forget or that don't have an impact on how you feel... I mean, it's like a red-hot burner, once your hand's touched it, you won't put it back there again... that kind of feeling... 

My brother is psychiatrically ill,

And neurodivergent as well,

So his memories and how he lived

Them are vastly different than mine.

And when it comes to our father,

My brother has always retained

That need he always sought to

Meet with the man:  approval.

He was abused and harshly mistreated

As a child, 'cause our father just

Couldn't accept he wasn't 'normal', like

It was an indictment on his manlihood.

Called him stupid, berated him, swore at

Him, knocked him off things, and hit him.

At two, he asked him to get the Phillips

Screwdriver and threw him accross

The room, 'cause he didn't get the right one.

That kind of stuff, always like this with him,

Until the day we packed up and ran away

From home to never return.  But none of that

Made my brother ever distance himself, and

He kept on hoping for that approval, never

Realizing he's expecting the impossible

From a very broken person who just can't.

I won't go into what he did to me or my 

Mother, but horrible puts it a bit lightly...

It's like my brother and I don't remember

The same things, and I find it very bizarre...

It's sad that he can't see he'll never get it.