I’m sitting in my own darkness and

I can see the irony in these shadows.

Windows and doors with no way out,

Yelling and screaming with my silent mouth.

I am sitting in my own grime.

I promise I’ll get clean this time.

This bathtub used to clean my soot.

Now I feel it is buried deeper than the root.

You entered me through my no pass zone,

It’s been five years but I can still feel you in my home.

There is no remorse on your part,

I can still smell you on me and it breaks my heart.

Healing is something I’ve learned how to do

Like coloring in the lines and tying my shoe.

It takes a lot of time and a lot of mistakes,

But sooner or later you deal with the aches.

I don’t think I could forgive you for all you have done

Living with this nightmare gives comfort to this gun.

And I’m still sitting in this darkness too scared to move,

Wishing and praying for these scars to improve.