I have not bot herd to much with correcting my spelling with this work. As I need to let it read as written by a Tommy , looking back.
Brass monkey weither , and me balls , froozen , like presring sooker balls . Me nosedripimg like a tap , needing a washer/MY FOOKN ME! Just cos some barsterd were talking , in the ranks! The fooking sargant tuerdearound and said ''RIGHT YOU ''ARESON YOUR SENTCHERY TO NIGHT, RIGHT , GOT THAT!?.
'' But sarge , it wernt me '' , '' ' AREYSON '' , I SAID YOUR ON SENTCHERY '' '' one more word out of you '' , he belowde , at me , in a quiet , threting voice , an inch from my noce! . I mubld , '' fooking Christmas! '' '' Bollocks! ''. '''Aryson , JUST JUST ONE MORE OUT , YOU , AND I'LL 'AVE YOU ON No1's , GOT THAT YOU ORIBLE LITTLE GIT!
That woz somert , that barstead Sargemnt WOULD DO. Not somert , I would like to have! The prosdpekt of tirde up to a gun wheel for twelfth hours! Na , better senchery duty, had to be better than that!
So I me kit , took up me rifle , look over to Fritz's trenches. Well at leat thire sentchery , was as pissde off as me! Some kind of compenstin , I supose! Then I saw someot , strange. I saw lights a long the Jerry's trenches , I stechde me eyes, to see what rthe old barsteds were up to. Then I thoughrt I could hear sining , singing? What the fook? Yes I could hear fooking songs , FOOKING Carols , well swipe and me and , Betty Martin! They belting out '' Silent Night , Holy Night '' , now I aint do the German lingo , but I reconicde the Carrol , we usde to sing it a Sunday School , well we more murderdid , more like! Well them Fretzs , were sining it proper like , even in tune , harmany and every fing , like that.
Well , I got like swepde up in it , listaning , I totaly forgot what I was supost to be doing , like. I rested me rifle agaist the fireing step , stood up , lay me head on me arms , and listand. Felt tears runing down me face. A voice calld out , in Eglish callde out '' HAPPY CHRISTMAS TOMMY '' , IN ENGLISH so help me in ENGLISH , wishde me ME HAPPY CHRISTMAS!. Son I wishde 'Im happy Christmas!
Be hind me one of me chums said ,'' Whats going on , Fred '' '' Jery up to someot? '' '' shale I get the sarge? '' '' No Persey , dot do that '' , '' Frez just wishde me 'Appy Christmas'' , '' What the fook , Fred '' , '' just Friz playing gamers , trying to trick us! '' , '' Na dont recon he is , Persey , chum ''.
Then I spoted figers emerging out of the German treenches , one , two , then five then six seven , a dozen , then the a hole loe of 'em , waking towars us. Pesrsy , stood with me , me outher chums were to standimng amazde , shoked to see 'em walking towards us . With NO RIFLES!. We had our rifles pointing ,ameing t 'em. One by one the all our rifles were rested agaist the fireing step. I got up on the lip of our trench , befor i realisde I was standing operset a german , a big BIG bugger . He was smiling , oferd his hand i oferd my hand. He gave me some chklet , I gave him some fags. I saw me chums , doing the same fing. The war was forgotan , peace had broken out!
We shwde our pitches of those backhome , he showde me his miss's , his kid. I sjhowd him a pitcher of me old mum and dad. The Jaerrys gave us snaos , now that is good grog , knock your socks of to catch up wiv your boots! Some gave brandy , never ad that before not bad not bad at all. Rum , cake plum puding , the works!
Even the sarge was chating wiv a Jery sargent , the offisers , tryde to get us back to the trenches. Made no difrance , yea , we ignorde them '' Live and let live that Christmas day. Till even the officrers they were on a looser , tryig to get thewar started. Even they came out , got talking wiv them German officers , exchanges drink ,showing of there pitchers of thire wifes. REminde me of Sundays down on the sea front. Holiday makers , chating, with out care in the world.
It was desided to gather the dead of each side. Well they woz right on the turn pongy , ripe , stank somert orible. Best to get 'em under the ground , be fore they thord out. They wernt so bad now , but when it wormde up , the whole of '' no mans Land '' , would stink to high 'evans!
We sharde the Devil dogers , a lot of dead all around . I saw a good chum of mine , Len , hehad been a good chum , but he took a bullet inthe 'eade , still it was quke , I gues that is the best way to go. Others had not been so lucky, if you can call it that! ''arms and legs missing , ome had no heads , others well guts opend up , spuimng out. Dies slowly , in pain. I'd herd ''em caling out to there mums as they slowly died. I supose I should of been well pissd off at the Germans , but how could I there chums were laying all around , died in the same old ways of war.
One of our chums predusde a ball , and chaliged the Fritz's to a game of football.
I recon it was twenty a side kind of game. One side won , who , well who care's. Recon the feikld hospel woz kind of buissey , with the number turning up with broken legs , and what not! Er the teams sade not to 'Aveing a reff! Well an offiser offerd , like. But na , we had no need for officers! I fuink one side won 6 9 somert like that.
Some Scots turnde up , whear from , I 'ave no idera , probly hered free booz , I recon. FREE rumers of FREE Booz , trvals faster than one of those flying figs above us. Drest in there kilts , the Freizs , just had to ask '' Is it true you dont ware draws underneath your skirts! ? , Tommy? '' Now if we English had ask that , well , to say the Scots would be upset, is puting mildly! . The Scots grind , turnd around , and lifted there kilts to show of there bare arces! Laughter inguldfde one and all!
Well it could not last , orders were sent around for us to get back in our trenches , us to ours ,the Germans back to theres. The Germans let us know , they had been orders to open fire at 3 P M sharp. '' we will aim high , so keep your heads down Tommy ''. Come 3 P M , they duly opened up , we keeped our heads down!
Well the genrals were not'appy ' not 'appy at all. They orderd the atilarey to open up , lobe some shels over , our football field , disaperd , the derd we had buryde blown out there graves , the war was back on!
By November 11th 1918 , I was the only living bloke to remember that Christmas.
The rest dead. Only me left to remember the day when sanity broke out in a world gone insane!
Ken D Williams
The Dyslexic Wordsmith
Short story by ken d williams
Read 769 times
Written on 2012-12-25 at 11:45
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CHRISTMAS DAY 1914 (THIS STORY IS BASED ON FACK)
It's sodden Christmas , and who's on sentchery! Me! It's cold and fook'n freeing.Brass monkey weither , and me balls , froozen , like presring sooker balls . Me nosedripimg like a tap , needing a washer/MY FOOKN ME! Just cos some barsterd were talking , in the ranks! The fooking sargant tuerdearound and said ''RIGHT YOU ''ARESON YOUR SENTCHERY TO NIGHT, RIGHT , GOT THAT!?.
'' But sarge , it wernt me '' , '' ' AREYSON '' , I SAID YOUR ON SENTCHERY '' '' one more word out of you '' , he belowde , at me , in a quiet , threting voice , an inch from my noce! . I mubld , '' fooking Christmas! '' '' Bollocks! ''. '''Aryson , JUST JUST ONE MORE OUT , YOU , AND I'LL 'AVE YOU ON No1's , GOT THAT YOU ORIBLE LITTLE GIT!
That woz somert , that barstead Sargemnt WOULD DO. Not somert , I would like to have! The prosdpekt of tirde up to a gun wheel for twelfth hours! Na , better senchery duty, had to be better than that!
So I me kit , took up me rifle , look over to Fritz's trenches. Well at leat thire sentchery , was as pissde off as me! Some kind of compenstin , I supose! Then I saw someot , strange. I saw lights a long the Jerry's trenches , I stechde me eyes, to see what rthe old barsteds were up to. Then I thoughrt I could hear sining , singing? What the fook? Yes I could hear fooking songs , FOOKING Carols , well swipe and me and , Betty Martin! They belting out '' Silent Night , Holy Night '' , now I aint do the German lingo , but I reconicde the Carrol , we usde to sing it a Sunday School , well we more murderdid , more like! Well them Fretzs , were sining it proper like , even in tune , harmany and every fing , like that.
Well , I got like swepde up in it , listaning , I totaly forgot what I was supost to be doing , like. I rested me rifle agaist the fireing step , stood up , lay me head on me arms , and listand. Felt tears runing down me face. A voice calld out , in Eglish callde out '' HAPPY CHRISTMAS TOMMY '' , IN ENGLISH so help me in ENGLISH , wishde me ME HAPPY CHRISTMAS!. Son I wishde 'Im happy Christmas!
Be hind me one of me chums said ,'' Whats going on , Fred '' '' Jery up to someot? '' '' shale I get the sarge? '' '' No Persey , dot do that '' , '' Frez just wishde me 'Appy Christmas'' , '' What the fook , Fred '' , '' just Friz playing gamers , trying to trick us! '' , '' Na dont recon he is , Persey , chum ''.
Then I spoted figers emerging out of the German treenches , one , two , then five then six seven , a dozen , then the a hole loe of 'em , waking towars us. Pesrsy , stood with me , me outher chums were to standimng amazde , shoked to see 'em walking towards us . With NO RIFLES!. We had our rifles pointing ,ameing t 'em. One by one the all our rifles were rested agaist the fireing step. I got up on the lip of our trench , befor i realisde I was standing operset a german , a big BIG bugger . He was smiling , oferd his hand i oferd my hand. He gave me some chklet , I gave him some fags. I saw me chums , doing the same fing. The war was forgotan , peace had broken out!
We shwde our pitches of those backhome , he showde me his miss's , his kid. I sjhowd him a pitcher of me old mum and dad. The Jaerrys gave us snaos , now that is good grog , knock your socks of to catch up wiv your boots! Some gave brandy , never ad that before not bad not bad at all. Rum , cake plum puding , the works!
Even the sarge was chating wiv a Jery sargent , the offisers , tryde to get us back to the trenches. Made no difrance , yea , we ignorde them '' Live and let live that Christmas day. Till even the officrers they were on a looser , tryig to get thewar started. Even they came out , got talking wiv them German officers , exchanges drink ,showing of there pitchers of thire wifes. REminde me of Sundays down on the sea front. Holiday makers , chating, with out care in the world.
It was desided to gather the dead of each side. Well they woz right on the turn pongy , ripe , stank somert orible. Best to get 'em under the ground , be fore they thord out. They wernt so bad now , but when it wormde up , the whole of '' no mans Land '' , would stink to high 'evans!
We sharde the Devil dogers , a lot of dead all around . I saw a good chum of mine , Len , hehad been a good chum , but he took a bullet inthe 'eade , still it was quke , I gues that is the best way to go. Others had not been so lucky, if you can call it that! ''arms and legs missing , ome had no heads , others well guts opend up , spuimng out. Dies slowly , in pain. I'd herd ''em caling out to there mums as they slowly died. I supose I should of been well pissd off at the Germans , but how could I there chums were laying all around , died in the same old ways of war.
One of our chums predusde a ball , and chaliged the Fritz's to a game of football.
I recon it was twenty a side kind of game. One side won , who , well who care's. Recon the feikld hospel woz kind of buissey , with the number turning up with broken legs , and what not! Er the teams sade not to 'Aveing a reff! Well an offiser offerd , like. But na , we had no need for officers! I fuink one side won 6 9 somert like that.
Some Scots turnde up , whear from , I 'ave no idera , probly hered free booz , I recon. FREE rumers of FREE Booz , trvals faster than one of those flying figs above us. Drest in there kilts , the Freizs , just had to ask '' Is it true you dont ware draws underneath your skirts! ? , Tommy? '' Now if we English had ask that , well , to say the Scots would be upset, is puting mildly! . The Scots grind , turnd around , and lifted there kilts to show of there bare arces! Laughter inguldfde one and all!
Well it could not last , orders were sent around for us to get back in our trenches , us to ours ,the Germans back to theres. The Germans let us know , they had been orders to open fire at 3 P M sharp. '' we will aim high , so keep your heads down Tommy ''. Come 3 P M , they duly opened up , we keeped our heads down!
Well the genrals were not'appy ' not 'appy at all. They orderd the atilarey to open up , lobe some shels over , our football field , disaperd , the derd we had buryde blown out there graves , the war was back on!
By November 11th 1918 , I was the only living bloke to remember that Christmas.
The rest dead. Only me left to remember the day when sanity broke out in a world gone insane!
Ken D Williams
The Dyslexic Wordsmith
Short story by ken d williams
Read 769 times
Written on 2012-12-25 at 11:45
Save as a bookmark (requires login) Write a comment (requires login) Send as email (requires login) Print text
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Lawrence Beck |
