After a night on the wine suffering my just deserts
''I'll take the pledge '' , says I , none to witness though
Decide , I'd better be on the wagon , by chance , a see a brewers dray passing by
Now thats a wagon , aint it!
It were being pulled by two giant shire horses , lovely beasts them horses
By chance a passing brewers dray , drayman , I could see he were such
Two of 'em both wearing a bowler hat , a derbys that is , our American cousins
The day was rather worm , even on the hot side well some times , we 'ave such days!
Even in old Ramsgate town!

One drayman , were sleepy , his chum ''ad Ipod earphones fings glued to his ears
So 'im as good a deaf , it was that hot, so they did not see me or hears me sneak aboard their wagon
Suppose I should of ask , but , well , would not be nice to disturbed the poor chap
At his rest , the other bloke listening to 'is mousic , well he'd never 'ear I'm a Thoughtful kind of bloke , me

Between the casks were hessian sacks , cumfey them casks of good old English ale Look rather tasty , and very tempting! , and I had made the plege , no witness , mind
The beer casks , were taped , I notes's that kind of fing , I felt a raging thirst Coming on , I gave way to temptation , I am only human aint I

There were no water to dampen down my thirst , now whats a thirsty man to do I Ask you , dear reader? A man can die of thirst , as you knows , so I had no choice Now did I , dear reader
I'm sure you understand , so I lay under a tap , well one mouthful lead to a second
That , well you know how it go's don't you're
Me were soon suffering from a full bladder , I were proper balladeerde me

Me legs kind of wobbly , even rubbery , I drops me legs over the edge of the Wagon , relieves pressure on me old bladder , I gives a deep sigh of relief
I gets up , a BIG mistake , offs I tubules , to land in a ditch , full of weed
I looks to see the dray disappearing down the road , WITH OUT ME!
I swear I heard , them two shires , chortling as they rode on

Well , what did I do then , I laid down in the ditch and had a kip , what else!

Ken D Williams

The Dyslexic Wordsmith