... This is not a Frozen reference for anyone who is wondering. I had to let the love of my life go. I had to for my health and hope for his future... But it is not goodbye


Let it go

Today is easily one of the hardest days of my life.
Today, I had to let you go, my love.
Today... today I was crying in my room weeping tears of confusion and of desperation...
... How can you not see nor understand that you are not who you once were?

You have not changed for the better, but for the worse.
You let those with two faces and serpentine tongues lull you to lie-la-bye land.
You said you once loved me and you tried to hide your pain so I wouldn't suffer...
... But now you hide nothing with a smile on your face, knowing that I cannot stomach such self conflict...

My love, you are no longer who I fell in love with.
The person abiding in my love's body is something birthed in despair and easily influenced by lies of the enemy.
You question truth of which is absolute, or so you once believed...
... My love, my dearest Sweetie, I am letting you go...

I cannot tell you how much this hurts me, but I am better feeling when reminded that this is a pause and not a stop.
That this is just until you are better...
... I pray that, that day comes quickly and stands firm, unshaken by the world's chaotic voices.
... God's speed, my love, God's speed.

I will be here waiting for your return.
I will be waiting, anxiously on my rickety front porch with open arms and joy filled heart and eyes.
Until that day has come, I dare not even think of you, for that would be cruel to myself.
I have shed so many tears about this, screamed screams of unEarthly realms out of defeat and anguish...

I cannot describe how hard it is for me to let you go.
Never would I dare dream of actually saying, inscribing or thinking such words...
Nevertheless, I will be strong and refuse to bend, for if I do, it is not only me that suffers, but you also and I cannot live with that...
Please do not forget me and know that I will always pray for you and will always love you...

So this is me, putting you and I on pause.
This is not goodbye...
... Even though this has caused me to cry...
... I know that there is no goodbye for you, my Sweetie and if there ever is, say it like you're coming back.




Words by Sarah Parnes
Read 1058 times
Written on 2014-09-01 at 02:40

Tags Pause  Love  Speed 

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