She , finally , decided to tell him
Made him a special dinner , stake
With all the trimmings
His favorite pudding
Bottle of red , then decided , white
Be best , well , reds a rite booger to get out!
How'd take her news , her concern

He sat down , wondering what he'd forget - again
Not their anniversary , he'd forgot - that last week
Not her birthday, forgot , that two weeks ago
Or was it a moth ago
What ever it was SOMERT , BIG , important
He sat there worrying , wondering thinking
Going through a list in his head
Cant be the car , he had to admit , she was a better diver
Than he ever would be , could ever be
Right , what she after , new telly? Na , one they had almost new
Not had more than seven years , years in it yet!
New cooker? , na, had it , what, since they got hitched

Any way he sat , thing to work it out ,why the dinner , not even Christmas!
She fill his glass full of wine
''What aint 'aveing a glass, sweetheart? '' , he decided , to sound loving
He felt he was sat on a mine , merest , slightest , wrong word
He'd , be wearing his dinner , rather than eating it!

'' Well , love '' , '' I ,we, need to talk to you about that ''
Now her timing , was rather off at the wrong time
He'd just put a forkful in to his mouth , taken a drink of wine
And as she feared the wine ended up been socked up by the tablecloth!


''I'm late'' , '' I'm pregnant '' , the words were out at last , finally!
The folk , drooped , meet , gravy and veg , slip to the tablecloth
The wine , shot out of his mouth , she took avoiding action , she duct , swerved
So evading the worse , that tablecloth , earning it's keep

All went quiet , she sat , awaiting , his response , wishing she could have a glass
Of wine!
He responded, he did with: with a smile , ear to ear

'' see what your after now '' ,'' a new , lager washing machine ''
'' A new pushchair , a cot and whatnot ''
'' Well '' , '' I'll see about doing more overtime , then sweetheart '' , smiling
Some how relieved , he'd not forgotten out - this time round!

Eight , months later , It had taken her a moth to find the right time
He suffered her given birth , twelfth hours it took her!
And you should of heard just what she called him!
Never know she know such words!

She'd been a month gone when she told him

He gave her is hand to hold - big mistake and that's no error in saying
You see , she hat , long , long nails you know , well now you do!
She dug ''em deep in to his fleshy parts , drew blood , to this day the scars plain to See!

Then the baby was out , he'd fainted clean away , laid out on the delivery Floor!

He woke up , helped up to his wobbling rubier legs

'' Congratulations '' , '' your a dad of bouncing baby daughter! ''
He burst in to tears! First time he'd cried , since United won the European Cup!

'' God , Jane look what we did! ''
He had a way with words!
'' Nowt to do with any god , Lenny '' ,'' between us we crated a life! ''
He way with words , rather better!

'' Bet you forget her birthday! ''
He weren't listening , he were preoccupied , getting to know his daughter
And he never ever forgot her birthday!

Ken D Williams

The Dyslexic Wordsmith Ov Thanet