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Current Mood: alright...
Current Music: "Better Without You" - Evanescence
NOTE: 2021 07 17 10H19 EST La meilleure façon -
La meilleure façon
Written 2021-07-17
- conclusion d'une discussion avec un ami... dernière pensée sur le sujet...
J'me dis que la meilleure façon
de se débarrasser d'un troll
c'est de lui créer une famine
en ce qui concerne son plus
grand désir, celui de s'octroyer
de toute l'attention dans la pièce.
Cela lui coupe le souffle en un
rien de temps, c'est immanquable.
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Current Mood: the same
Current Music: "Sons of Northern Darkness" - Immortal
NOTE: 2004 12 16 08H32 EST The Awakening - a friend, a knife, an assault, a coma, an awakening...
The Awakening
Written 2021-07-09
- repost...
awakening’s a bitter, dissolving deception
coursing like a rush, a punch-like violation
death, out-tricked, boils with vindictive fury
to this day still casting on me the penalty
my eyes opened to be attacked by the room’s light
was a bustle all around me, this musn’t be right
confusion before realization could set me straight
policemen nearly rushing, couldn’t anymore wait
gaps inhabit the spaces of my guarded memory
but every single image remains so accurately
tears, heavy disappointment flowed, i survived
convinced pain’s doom will stay around to thrive
years indicate how so far it’s true…
the calmness of the « sleep » through -
a cruel hanging for a shattered life suffocating
wishes form in me to be back to safety, dreaming
now the dreams that surface in sleep kill me
slowly they’re leading me down to insanity
couldn’t be graced with an amnesic mind
terror and blood is all it can today find
unable to move, was feeling my soul slipping
through the painful cuts my life was seeping
then total darkness decided to release
a mind from consciousness, to appease
battered senseless and left behind to die…
appreciation for the miracle would be a lie
'cause never forgotten will the day of the awakening be
heaven reached then snatched, grandest of all misery
peace was denied.
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Current Mood: discouraged...
Current Music: "Dérangeant" - Groovy Aardvark
NOTE: 2021 07 09 07H17 EST Just No -
Just No
Written 2021-07-09
- some personalities, you know...
You and your friends
It'll never be bound
To ever gel with me
It'll just never work
Too self-absorbed
Too attention-seeking
Everything about you
Is just all too much
Either you're unaware
Or you simply don't care
I don't know which it is
But it's sure not great
Consumed by hubris, ideas
Of grandeur, you're insulting
Brash, obnoxious, clueless
It's sure passed incredible
So, you and your friends
It'll never be bound
To ever gel with me
It's just way too sure
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Current Mood: surprisingly good... even though it was difficult painwise...
Current Music: (youtube)
NOTE: 2021 07 08 00H25 EST Ramblings 566 -
Ramblings 566
Written 2021-07-08
- sorry, long, and more of my medical journey... a lot to process... had first appointment with physiatrist today which was 3hrs... diagnostic process' finally begun...
It actually went brilliantly well today
Well, aside the road works everywhere
Which blew out many stops before
The bus stop I needed to get to
To catch the second bus on my way
So had to walk down Belvédère avenue
Which is a pretty long stretch of a street
Did not expect this drastic bus route change
But made my snail-paced way to the bus
Which was pretty excruciatingly painful
At the centre itself, I had a very long way
To go through what seemed like endless
Vast corridors to get to my appointment
Because I was limping on arrival, I was
Offered a wheelchair. Had I known...
And then on the way back, come to find out
They moved another bus stop on the route
And the bus passed in front of our faces
So more walking to catch another bus
And that one was diverted along the way too!
Final stop left me sitting by the side of the road
For a while, unable to walk, while my douce moitié
Went home some fifteen-minute walk away to get
His bike. Then he picked me up, and he rode us home
Must say, this part was most exhausting all in all
So yeah, all of this walking made my legs suffer
Especially after all of these physical exams I had
Where all of my limbs were moved in all directions
Pulled, pushed, tapped for quite a while
So I was in even more pain after the appointment
However, the first appointment with this specialist
Went in a manner I did not expect at all
She and her resident were compassionate, personable
Kind people, every single one I saw today
And we're already on the start of a treatment plan
They listened, took notes, examined, discussed
All of it felt like they actually gave a damn to help
I felt no awkwardness at all, I felt respected
Not once did I feel like my credibility was in doubt
They readily accepted that my pain is very real
I left from there with the feeling that she's serious
About wanting to figure out what all of this is about
She agrees that the suspected diagnosis is a possibility
I have very many of the symptoms that fit the syndrome
But that'll only be found out by the geneticist's tests
In the meantime though, she's taking me on
I have more X-rays and a sonogram to start off with
Also, because of my hypersensitivity to all medications
She's prescribed me a series of vitamins and supplements
But medication too, if after two months those don't offer much
If the medication is started, it's already prescribed
At an initial minimal dose to slowly increase every two weeks
I'm also referred to physiotherapy to establish a routine
Of specific exercises which will reinforce my muscles
All while more importantly not injure myself in the process
There's also a procedure she called "infiltration" that's on the table
As a possible treatment plan, but she's giving me time to think on it
It's putting injections right into my joints which supposedly helps
To relieve the pain 'cause the anti-inflammation drug is directly
Introduced into the source of where it's coming from. Not sure yet
I also met with another woman at the end of my appointment
Who presented me a few models of ortheses and compressive gear
Tried two models for the ankles, and I found it a little overwhelming
The straps, the velcros, the criss-crossing... the contraption
She understood, said there's no rush to make any decision now
(At my departure, this woman even pushed me in a wheelchair
All the way away from the centre and across the street to my bus stop!
It's quite a distance, but she was very happy to assist me. Blew me away.)
So it's a lot, and I'm still processing it all
But it was absolutely fantastic nonetheless
I don't know if we'll be able to make this better
Still, I feel like there may be a possibility
And that's certainly not what I expected to feel today
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