- sorry, sort of in the processing phase of how my life is so different now... I should get over it soon ;)

It'd never occurred to me

That I'd been through a lot

Until I started to see others'

Reactions on hearing about

My life, so as time went on,

Only then did it become clear

To me that it was filled with

Shocking things that horrify.

I've been abused and mistreated

As a child with my parents, so

Much fear, instability, violence,

I've been assaulted in my teens

When roaming the streets felt like

A better option than being home,

Then after those final assaults,

I've been unwell with symptoms

Of the traumas I've encountered,

Reliving the neverending nightmares

In uncontrollable overtaking flashbacks.

Everything was a struggle for so long,

And all efforts for so long only failures,

And the weight of the isolation a killer,

The despair a constant state with no

Foreseeable resolution.  Everything was

Dire, everything was painful, there was

No clear reason to wish to carry on living,

And I almost died at my hand many times.

But today, that's not my life anymore,

And as happy as I am about it, I'm

Needing a minute to process it all;

I think I'm awed that it's happened.

Seeing as this is relatively recent,

Saying that I'm used to this wouldn't

Be exact, it feels strange in some

Measure, 'cause feeling good was

Never much of a reality before.

Yet now, it's what every day is.

Feels like I can count lucky stars.