A moment of Spare with a Dream to Share




Ladies and Gentlemen,
Sounds more like a speech
But actually is just a moment for me to speak.
Thinking of myself and what I want
Or what I dream
Sometimes makes it sound too unreal

As I've tried to avoid
And tried to escape
From all my desires and needs
Thinking I'm not important
Or not worthy

Still I do deep inside tend to escape
Tend to hide
Tend to try not to find
What I seek inside.

I was told I should take care of myself
And realize my dreams
And seek my desires
And try to achieve
What comes to my mind.

But sometimes, I say
Who am I to ask for much?
Who am I to ask for anything at all?
I'm sinner with many mistakes!
Even if not worse than others,
But I do have mistakes

Ever met someone,
Who talks about his mistakes first?
Me!
Ever met someone,
Who tries to scare you off by mentioning all his sins?
Me!
Ever met someone,
Who tends to hurt himself in order not to hurt others?
Me!

A crazy person or a madman
To me its all the same
I think am such a lousy person
With a mind dying in vain

At least one thing I'm good at
Is at hiding in the background
And giving a helping hand
And making others happy
And see them smile
And dance on the sand

At least am useful
Even in one thing in my life
But forget about Tarek
Its what I say all the time
Work, family and friends
Is all I ever want
It's all I ever do right

In my own terms
By hiding and not showing
Being there for others and those in need
And all I want sometimes
Is to ignore myself an let it bleed
Even if its so badly in need,

Again I say who am I?
Just a human
Correct
But one who can be neglected
And not accounted for

And in the end
I stand in my own maze
And I stare and gaze
And wonder
Where shall my life lead me?
To this infinity of loneliness
To this moment of solitarily
To this moment of despair

And in the end
I put it all behind
And smile and walk
And go on with my life
And just be who I'm
A person who dreams
And never shares
A person who's here
And never there
A person who's me
And not them

A moment of spare with a dream to share





Poetry by Tarek Refaat
Read 432 times
Written on 2005-08-28 at 14:32

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