The love of paradoxes
While at the same time we are so much like each other
we are totally each other's contraries
unmatchable irrevocably with each other
while we can not do without each other,
you dependent on continuous company,
me dreadfully dependent on the freedom of my solitude,
while also you need, most of all, your space of freedom
and I wallow in that sado-masochistic social addiction,
which just burns me out, like you are burnt out
by all that you loathe and cannot do without.
It's one of those impossible equations: love is never mathematical;
you need your freedom and your loneliness and company,
and I need solitude and freedom and addiction
to all that which harms my work and limits my expansion.
Are we both then self-destructive as creative artists?
Yes, in some ways, since we need to be alone and free
but are dependent on each other
and must do without each other totally except as friends
whose love is far too strong to be allowed
except as spiritually roaring beyond all control,
and that is never satisfactory, no matter how much we are soaring
beyond space and time in madness of our sanity of love,
which gives us nothing but a whole eternity of sleepless nights.
Poetry by Christian Lanciai
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Written on 2006-10-21 at 09:45
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