| Freedom and Dust
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2007-06-27
Well done--bouncing rhythm true to more than a canter or even a trot--can feel the galloping pace and the feelings are expressed well. The happiness is evident on an unseen radiant face and the bouncing braid is as resplendent as the horse's tail swishing with the same articulation as the metrtical rhythm.
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| Blind
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2007-04-16
IT need be seen in Braille also works, for imagine what the rose appears to be to the blind --as your own beauty might appear to a blind beau. One of my investigated themes that recurs in much of my own writing.
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| Cool Light
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2007-04-16
smoothe highway rather than rocky road; hope that cool light was sky blue because is all that came to mind -- I know, whatever the reader interprets is right -- just a thought.
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| What I Felt, Not What I Learnt
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2007-03-27
side comment: you obviously know all about what you choose not to use--but cummings and Bill have their good points as do wordsworth, dickinson, vergil, Ovid, Cicero, Ferlinghetti, Morrison etc. Like a recipe for success--use a form if you choose to conform, or ---NOT! You do it all so well.
LL
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| What I Felt, Not What I Learnt
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2007-03-27
wonderfully perfect mirror of my constant philosophy although I like to at time master the challenge of cramming words into specific forms just for the halibut (fishing for a better phrase) hence, the sonnet, haiku but mostly free verse.
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| That Body
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2007-03-27
Good development and nice enveloped ending to complement the beginning
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| What Depth
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2007-03-27
Your ending never ceaase to amaze
best short poem writer I've seen yet.
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| Secret Self
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2007-03-27
love the contrast between tendeer and tough
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| Seasons
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2007-03-27
took all the phases of what Shakespeare calls the seven ages of man and put them into five lines
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| Hot Sweat
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2007-03-27
great play on words--thought about the inverse of tongue thighed?
Hmmm. Might it have been thong tied? Love the campbell-less possibilities, Must read more--BTW great site at your Myplace
Super pics.
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| a word I know
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2007-03-26
Rob covered th errata; fairy tales ere indeed dreams to be fulfilled or hopes of dreams to become reality --or reality to become the hope of dreams. Either way, as soon as another entity enters the scene, compromise is necessary to make the reality of another's dreams come true.
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| a path
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2007-03-26
Bad habit now of reading this last lind first--sorry--this one works both ways as well --maybe a new poeic form you seem to have perfected delivering a message no matter how it is read --but, it could also be a road to Sanity--with the right perspective-- as in Willis and Pfeiifer in The Story of US in which Bruce finally sees the US in through her eyes instead of his own. Voila!
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| an act ... or what am I waiting for
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2007-03-26
another color-less (black) palidromic poem and the the nothingness of the essence is what makes this black thing work. The undisturbed flow is melodic and allows the interpretation to appear as constant as the tide as different as each and every different splashing wave in an ocean of beautiful images possible.
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| the coulor white
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2007-03-26
nicely palindromic poem with white--a contrast to the otrher one of yours I just read--an act--of which I will comment separately.
Palindromic--? I read this first from beginning to end and got one impression of interpretation--then re-read it last line to first and got the same impression of the conundrum it presents--an incompleteness of a relationship that awaits the paint on the canvthe blanks to be filled, the action waiting to happen --rarely does a poem work the way this one does. Try it-last line through first as if it were all reversed. On purpose? or accidental genius?
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| Elated Haiku
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2007-03-24
aren't haikus cute for saying so much with so little. You should expand yourself into sonnet forms--more room, more restrictions, more humor
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| Exultant Season Surprise
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2007-03-24
luv da ease in writin' an' conversational flow and I hope you meant pallet(te) at the end insead of palate, which is he roof of the mouth (inside) [see private message]
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| Dear Father, I Hate You
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2007-02-27
tough write--person who is the father here must been really a loathesome entity to deserve such reproach.
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| Alone At The Beach
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2007-02-27
picture says the setting without words -words add the emotion to make the pic meaningful
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| just because
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2007-02-21
Using color and light to hightlight the delicacy of the last two lines is effective and touching especially the fragile part of you which is in itself so suggestive that it could be any part from earlobe to pinkie toe and anywhere in between.
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| unvisible
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2007-02-21
oxymorons add to the imagery of blind lighthouse and clinging to that which is "untouchable" and sensory images a scream away from open wounds--ouch!
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| I lay you
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2007-02-21
well done in its ambiguity --surface meaning is clear--but, deep reading can see more potentials that could not be dismissed and THAT is the beauty of writing--not saying what it appears you have said. On the surface, a farewell (fix ADORNING [typo] to one passing from one life to another or just through the night through bright dreams and back to reality again--
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| The Old Wicker Bench
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2007-02-10
I like your free verse better than my ode . . . the story is great
Ode duh wicker webs we'd weave
when foist we practice off duh sleeve
instead o' writin' off duh cuff
"bout wicker . . . an answer to yours coming.
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| NAKED KISS
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2007-01-28
succinctly touching without even being touched
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| A Midday's Midnight
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2007-01-23
It's about time. . . I found something interesting in a new writer to my experiences -- selected because a friend mentioned you- and this is good -- and it's about time--a nice theme and very well done -- impressive enough to send me back for more.
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| Children of a Lesser God- Bonded Labourers
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2007-01-18
All the comments say it all - a perfect piece perfectly expressed.
Another gem in your tiara of excellence.
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| Nocturne
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2007-01-17
How I do love musical endings to perfect imagery.
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| sink
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2006-12-17
I like the topic but I trip over the words that are so close that spelling does make a difference:
breath for breathe
buety for beauty
gluides for glides
ican tolerate hipnotic for hypnotic
and even delibratley for deliberately
But, that is the English teacher critic in me. My life has been devoted to eliciting correctness ad nauseam. The subject and the read are well worth the time spent even hurdling the minor bumps.
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| Do you remember?
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2006-12-17
Sad that only one can remember or neither does--that is why, I think, we write -- to preserve those memories. Growing up doesn't have to mean forgetting what was so important then- - - a legacy even for children who are remembering what we too soon forget
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| The night the lights went out
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2006-12-17
nice light images coupled with the music images
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| Lovers infinity
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2006-12-17
Indeed legs between legs forming the sign for infinity and locking into that erotic love we wish would last for that infinity -- but, alas, know the odds are against it. It is worth the try.
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| It's in you find it!
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2006-12-17
So colorful and concrete and creatively imaged.. . . and pithy
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| Running naked on the street
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2006-12-17
Nicely done, clearly moving in the right directio (naked truth) and back again -- personification and exquisite topic, barely touched.
A favorite topic of mine, but will discuss that in latewr writes.
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